The perfect woman
Doesn’t fart
Like a trumpet sounding
But rather it is released
Like she’s gently sighing
The perfect woman
Doesn’t belch
Out the word Bulawayo
But rather releases it
Behind her hand delicately
The perfect woman
Doesn’t sweat
Or anything like as vulgar
If they overheat
The darlings just perspire
The perfect woman
Doesn’t swear
Only shit and maybe bloody
If they stub their toe
Its sod it or even buggeration
The perfect woman
Doesn’t exist
They fart and blame the cat
They belch and blame the food
They sweat and blame the change
They swear and blame the man
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